[Fanfic] Tower of God - Collection for KhunBam week 2020: Day 6

Este ya es el penúltimo día de la semana de KhunBam, y me siento muy orgullosa de haber logrado estar al día hasta ahora. Si realmente logro terminar hoy el del día de hoy, ahí sí que me voy a felicitar a mí misma (porque nadie más lo va a hacer por mí :c XD). Sería el logro máximo, loco~ Ya, aquí está el día 6, que es cortito igual c:

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Collection for KhunBam week 2020

by RPMizu

Day 6: Eyes / Dreams

“Like you? I love you, Bam. You don’t know how much I love you.”

After Khun confessed his love for him, Bam tried really hard to act as normal as possible around him. It was difficult during the first week, however, Khun’s presence felt naturally comfortable, which made it much easier for Bam to stop being cold to him. During those days, Khun also distanced himself from Bam, probably wanting to give him some space. But Bam doesn’t need that. Sure, Bam needs time to figure out his own feelings, but to do that he also needs to be near Khun. So, he started approaching Khun again, smiling at him, sometimes taking his arm or going to visit him in his room at night. At least he figured out he didn’t want Khun away from him, regardless of his feelings being the same as Khun’s or not.

“Bam, don’t you get it? I’m love with you. I want to be with you forever.”

Are they the same, though? Bam really likes Khun, probably even more than the rest of the team. He feels so relaxed around him. When Bam has an achievement, Khun is the first one he seeks in order to get his approval, and his compliments make him the happiest. He is also the first person he looks for when he needs advice or support. That means he likes him, that he is best friend, right?

“I want to kiss you.”

That alone doesn’t mean he likes Khun the way Khun likes him, right? Khun said he wanted to kiss him, to be more than friends. Bam doesn’t really understand what that means, but at least he knows kissing on the mouth and having sex are things you only do with the one you are attracted to in a way friends or family don’t like each other. Things you do with your lover. Does Bam want to do those things with his best friend? When Khun approached him, his lips almost touching his own, Bam was incredibly nervous and confused, but he didn’t want to push him away like Khun himself told him to do. Did he want to be kissed by him? Did he feel frustrated when Khun didn’t do it?

“I won’t kiss you. I won’t do anything to you. Not yet.”

The answer came to Bam some days later, when he kept thinking so much about his own feelings for Khun that he started having dreams about Khun. Bam woke up in the middle of the night, having dreamt about Khun visiting him at night, his eyes shining in amidst the shadows, filled with lust. In his most recurring dream, Bam would sit up in his bed, wanting to welcome him into his room, but Khun would push him down on the bed, lay on top of him, his lips brushing his own in the same way they did when Khun confessed his love.

“How can you be so sexy when you are so clueless?”

Khun’s words echo in his head, from when he sensually licked the blood from Bam’s legs. That time, Khun didn’t kiss him either, but in Bam’s dreams he did. He kissed him until Bam’s lips end up swollen and red. His weight on top of Bam felt so natural, and made him feel so at ease. But it also made his body temperature rise uncontrollably.

“I want to take your lips again and again.”

After having those dreams, Bam has to admit he wants it too. Does that mean he also wants the other things Khun did to him in his dreams? Khun would make their hips rub against each other, while he caressed his entrance with just two fingers, on top the clothes or below them. Then Khun would take him, penetrate deep inside Bam’s body and make him tremble with pleasure, never breaking eye contact. Khun would ride hard him until he loses consciousness.

“I want to push you down right now, and fuck you senseless. I want to make you mine.”

It was a fact. Bam wanted Khun to take him for himself. He wanted Khun to fuck him like he said he wanted to. So he likes Khun, he feels at ease with him, values Khun’s feelings and wants to be by his side forever. He is also attracted to Khun, wants him to kiss him, to have sex with him. Alright, then all that meant he loved Khun? He felt something was still missing. He just wasn’t sure yet if it was the same.

However, things changed for them yet again. Khun was betrayed by Icarus, or better said Rachel, and went into a coma. Everything happened so fast, and Bam’s heart was broken into pieces. Rachel had betrayed him yet again, even when he said he wouldn’t bother her anymore. His Master was kidnapped and almost killed. Khun couldn’t be by side. Bam found himself suddenly alone, yet again. Like when he was at the cave, before Rachel found him. Like when he was with FUG, training incessantly day by day.

“You have no idea what you do to me.”

Yet the dreams haven’t stopped. They only started mixing between the same wet dreams, and new dreams of loneliness, of Khun dying before Isu’s team could bring him back to health. Dreams of Bam being alone in that cave again, no ray of light coming from the surface anymore. Those cunning blue eyes, which turned loving only in Bam’s presence, couldn’t see him anymore. Bam is trapped in the cave again. He feels so alone he can’t breathe properly, even when his other friends are constantly trying to support him. He stays strong in front of them, not wanting to make them worry. But after the hellish training he is putting himself through every day, in order to become stronger and prevent something like his to happen again, and also in order to distract himself, to not go crazy, he simply goes to his own room, shuts the door and waits, completely still, for time to pass, hoping with all his heart Khun would wake up soon.

“I won’t kiss you yet. I told you already.”

Despite his constant dreams, the truth was that Khun hasn’t kissed him yet. In all these lonely months, he found the thing that was missing when he was analyzing his feelings before, when Khun was still awake. He doesn’t see Khun as only a friend. He loves his company, more than anything else’s. He also wants Khun to be his lover, to share a bed, to sleep cuddling into him, to kiss, to have sex. He wants to share his whole life with Khun. The desolation he is feeling right now was the missing piece in the puzzle. He wants Rachel not to hate him. He wants his Master back, safe and sound. But most of all, he can’t live without Khun by side anymore. It’s unbearable.

“But if you do love me, then… Well, you’ll have to wait and see.”

“I do love you back, Khun-san.”

Bam has yet to tell Khun he also loves him. Why did he have to be so slow in figuring it out? As punishment, he will have to wait for long, long months until Khun comes back into his life. Bam desperately wants to see what Khun would do if he knows Bam loves him back.

But right now, Khun is not here, and Bam feels like he is in the eye of a hurricane. Everything has stopped around him, staying still, suspended in midair. It makes Bam feel empty inside. Without Khun, the storm in his heart won’t end. All of his unbearable loneliness and yearning won’t subside until he is able to see himself reflected in those sapphire eyes once more.

How much more will he have to wait for that to happen?

For Khun, he will wait. He will have faith. Khun promised he wouldn’t abandon him, after all. And Bam believes in Khun blindly. Khun will come back and will never leave him again. Khun will be proud of him for withstanding all of this solitude. And Bam will finally tell him he loves him as much as Khun loves him.

Bam repeats it, like a mantra.

He will endure. He will be strong. He will endure.

-END of DAY 6-

[Fanfic] Tower of God - Collection for KhunBam week 2020: Day 5

Y sigo al día! Dios, no puedo creer que lo esté logrando y que ya solo me queden dos días más TuT Igual los caps están como el hoyo, pero es lo que hay XD Ya los arreglaré algún día si me da la gana. Este volvió a ser más cortito, después de lo largo que me salió el día 4 XD

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Collection for KhunBam week 2020

by RPMizu

Day 5: Loyalty / Confession

Even after being betrayed by that blonde bitch, Bam still chased after her, like a loyal puppy. And that girl rejoiced in his affection, took advantage of it, and mocked him in the face for it. Khun never will be able to forgive her for that. How did she dare to ignore Bam, to look down on his love for her? Khun despises Rachel with all his heart, and only wants her to disappear, to get trapped at the first floor, forever unable to climb the Tower in order to see her dear stars. She totally deserves that or worse. She harmed a real star, after all, one that’s so bright Khun wouldn’t even dream to have for himself.

Well, at least not until he saw a real chance of his love being reciprocated. If that second betrayal from Rachel’s part and all they went through in the Hell Train were useful for something, it was for Bam finally noticing and accepting than Rachel just wasn’t worth it. Sure, he still cares for her enough to try to stop her from hurting and manipulating other people, but he doesn’t want to get her back like before.

“Rachel… Goodbye.”

And now, Bam properly told Rachel he won’t follow her anymore. Khun wasn’t surprised when Bam said she looked annoyed, even if she kept saying she didn’t want Bam to go after her. It was obvious she did wanted Bam following behind, for whatever sick purpose she had. But Bam was pushing her aside, in favor of his friends, the ones he wanted to protect and wouldn’t betray him like she did.

Khun regretted not being there to rub it Rachel’s face. But now it was time for Khun to be proud of him, to compliment Bam for his accomplishment, which he knows it was probably the hardest for him until now. It breaks Khun’s heart to see Bam’s sad smile though, with a few tears getting caught up on his eyes as he is telling him about that moment. So, since it’s just the two of them now, Khun hugs him close, letting Bam lay his head on top of his lap. Bam doesn’t cry though, just lays there and relaxes to Khun petting his hair.

“You did well. I’m so proud of you.”

“I was able to do it because of you. Our team taught me what loyalty really is. It’s not like you have to be loyal because you are expecting something else in return, but you must receive the same thing back, or the other person will keep hurting you and the ones you love. I was ok with her hurting me. I would have kept chasing after her nonetheless, hoping she would go back to the way she was before, at the cave. But I can’t risk you guys, who have done so much for me and deserve my loyalty much more than her.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t deserve you, Bam. I knew it from the start, but her actions have done no other than prove me right. It’s ok to let go of the ones who hurt you, even if they are your family.”

“That’s the thing.” Bam gets up, his golden eyes staring straight into Khun’s. “You are my family now. Since I don’t family any genetic relatives, I get to choose my own family, right? I choose you all.”

Khun’s heart warms up at those words, and he has to suppress the urge to simply kiss him right there. If only Bam knew what he does to him, how much his innocent affection for him means to him.

“I feel honored, my little god.”

Bam blushes a bit. He did say he would get to the top of the Tower and change it, meaning he is, at some capacity, striving to become a God. Khun still doesn’t approve of Bam trying to do everything for other people, not taking his own needs and feelings into account, but at least he can joke about it and vent his concealed sexual attraction for him at the same time.

“And I’m glad Rachel is starting to lose her place as your most important person.”

“Yeah, she is… I think you’re moving to that spot now.”

God, Khun knows Bam is saying that platonically. He is just grateful Khun is always there for him, and probably likes him as much as the rest of his friends.

“I like you so much, Khun-san. You are the smartest, most beautiful person I ever met.”

But it’s torture, pure torture. Who could ever blame him for having wishful thinking? Bam is sincerely expressing his sense of friendship towards him, nothing more, but Khun can’t help but want it to mean something more.

“Do you like me too, Khun-san?”

So innocent, staring at him with those wide eyes and smiling expectantly. So cute, Khun can’t take it anymore.

“Like you? I love you, Bam. You don’t know how much I love you.”

He said it. He finally said it. After years of trying to hide his feelings, for fear of scaring and losing Bam, he finally confessed his feelings. I was incredibly easy too. He just needed to let the words flow directly from his chest. Why did he torture himself like that through all those years? It seems so foolish now, like the crocodile once said.

But he instantly remembers why he was hiding those feelings, why he thought he would frighten Bam if he knew about them. The answer is in front of him. Bam is simply smiling at him, his expression having not changed at all. Bam is just happy he is liked by him. He doesn’t get what Khun loving him means. And it’s frustrating, so much that Khun doesn’t realize in time that he should have taken a step back, take advantage of Bam being clueless and leave his words as a simple declaration of friendship and nothing more.

“Bam, don’t you get it? I’m love with you. I want to be with you forever.”

“Me too! I want to be with you forever, Khun-san!” Bam says with a wide smile, enthusiastically bouncing a little in the bed. Khun almost facepalms himself at Bam’s charming but irritating cluelessness. He wants to beg him not to say any more things that can be misinterpreted like that one.

“I want to kiss you.” If it’s going to be like that, then he will have to be blunter. “I want to have sex with you. I want you to be my lover.”

That seemed to be effective. Bam looks like he has become frozen. Then he seems to be trying to express his confusion verbally, but no word comes out of his mouth.

“You have no idea what you do to me.” Khun gets close to him, taking one of Bam’s hands between his. His face is now millimeters away from Bam’s. Khun can sense how Bam clearly wants to get away, but he doesn’t dare to do it. He is paralyzed. Khun doesn’t stop though. “I want to take your lips again and again.” Bam can only stare at Khun’s lips as he continues to whisper to him. “I want to push you down right now and fuck you senseless. I want to make you mine” His lips are brushing Bam’s now, and it’s almost impossible to resist temptation, but he manages to do it somehow. “Do you understand now?”

Bam nods slowly, completely in shock. The only thing at moves is his eyes, which shift between Khun’s whispering lips and deep, lustful, yearning blue eyes.

“Good. And what do you have to say about it?”

“I… I don’t know… I don’t think I fully understand it.” Bam manages to whisper back, his accelerated hot breath descending on Khun’s mouth.

“Do you love me too? Do you feel the same?”

“I do love you, but I don’t know… if it’s in the same way…”

Those words stab Khun’s heart, even if he already had concluded that would be the case. Bam loves everyone, but surely doesn’t know the difference between various types of love. Khun lowers his gaze, and Bam looks immediately worried. This is exactly what he tried to avoid. Bam worrying about him, being afraid of him. So, changes the perspective, hoping this would make Bam feel safer and less confused, at least a little bit.

“Don’t worry, I already thought that would be the case. You don’t have to answer right now.” Khun takes Bam’s hand to his lips, leaving a soft kiss there. “You only have to know that I love you and that I will be with you as long as you want me to. I will never betray you, I will never abandon you. I can promise that to you.” Another kiss in the back of his hand, and he can feel Bam trembling a bit. Their eyes meet, and Bam’s cheeks are painted a light pink. It’s so cute, Khun can’t help getting close and brush his lips against Bam’s again. “I pledge my eternal love and loyalty to you, my god.”

Bam closes his eyes, seemingly waiting what Khun was obviously going to do, but Khun doesn’t move. “Huh?”

When he opens them again, totally confused, Khun laughs softly. It’s a deeply sad laugh. “I won’t kiss you. I won’t do anything to you. Not yet. Not until you can give me an answer, until you learn about the nature of your own feelings. If you end up not loving me back, I will still be here if you want me to, and we both will forget about this. But if you do love me, then…” He gets even closer, and deposits a kiss in the corner of his mouth, purposely avoiding those appetizing lips. “Well, you’ll have to wait and see.”

And with that, he goes out of Bam’s room, probably leaving him completely astonished. Khun leans his back on the door, after closing it behind him. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his own heart. He managed to act cool in front of Bam until the very end, but now his heart is beating so hard is hurting him. Why? Why didn’t he back down on his confession when Bam didn’t understand it yet? It would have been easy, but seeing Bam being so clueless frustrated him to no end. He had thought of taking his feelings to his grave. It was obvious Bam wasn’t going to reciprocate them, so why? Why did he confess? Why did he make clear the nature of his romantic, sexual, possessive feelings for Bam? Now it’s too late. He will have to live with it.

The next morning, he meets Bam at the hallway. Endorsi is with him, enthusiastically telling him something she probably thinks it’s important, but Bam isn’t paying attention to her. He is staring into space. However, when he finally sees Khun, he comes to a halt. Endorsi may not notice, but Khun clearly sees Bam’s body shiver a little, just before he gives him an awkward smile and a nod before running away. Endorsi gets furious at Bam for leaving her behind for no reason, and follows him immediately.

And Khun is frozen there. Bam is avoiding him, is feeling awkward in his presence. Is confused, afraid. Is distancing himself from Khun. Everything Khun feared the most. He wants to slap himself for being so foolish, so weak. Will he have to leave Bam now?

I will be with you as long as you want me to.

I pledge my eternal love and loyalty to you, my god.

No, he shouldn’t draw conclusions so soon. He wouldn’t leave Bam if he doesn’t want him to. Until Bam says he doesn’t want Khun near him anymore, Khun would be by his side.

I’m sorry, Bam. I will stay silent. I won’t frighten you anymore. If you need time, I will give it to you.

It’s too late now. Khun can only regret ever confessing his feelings. But what he will never regret is promising Bam his love, his absolute loyalty. Khun would gladly die for Bam, and will surely live for Bam. Should he feel relieved he doesn’t have to hide at least that anymore? Maybe, but it will be harder to keep silent about his other feelings, his other desires. He will endure it, though. He has to. He will make Bam comfortable around him again.

God, I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me, Bam.

Can I still hope for your love?

Only time will tell.

-END of DAY 5-

[Fanfic] Tower of God - Collection for KhunBam week 2020: Day 4

Aun sigo al día!! :D Así que aquí está la historia de ayer, que es AU de idols, en donde Bam es idol y Khun es su manager. Tiene nods a lo que pasó en canon con Rachel y entre los papás de Bam y Jahad. Siento que podría perfectamente hacer una historia más larga en base a esto, pero no sé si realmente la haría, teniendo en cuenta que aun no escribo al menos dos ideas de fics y tampoco he terminado el de Jinsung XD

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Collection for KhunBam week 2020

By RPMizu

Day 4: AU / Free day

In truth, Bam didn’t care about being a star. He only accepted the job because, if he did, he could support his parents, who lost it all to a terrible man called Jahad. This man has been obsessed with his mother ever since before Bam was born. He even tried to rape his mother, who at that time was a singer in Jahad Entertainment. When his father stopped him from doing that, Jahad used all of his influences to strip them from their small fortune; he left them with nothing, and closed up all doors for them, so that they wouldn’t be able to rise again.

Because of it, Bam had to forget about his real name, Jue Viole Grace, and start a new life with a foster family when he was just a small child. His parents had decided that it would be best if Bam lived a normal life and nobody knew who his parents were. He could only visit them occasionally, and every time he went to his old house, they could only offer him a sad smile.

But now, a man with blonde hair had asked him to become a singer after hearing him perform in an event at his University. An opportunity had fallen from the Heavens for him to give his family a new life, one that didn’t imply them struggling to get part-time jobs to subsist, when no company wanted to hire them formally. All because of that man.

However, he couldn’t have imagined that his childhood friend, the one he trusted the most, was jealous of this opportunity. She had said countless times she admired successful idols, but he didn’t think she wanted to be one herself. When he told her about the offering he received, he thought Rachel would be happy for him, and eventually start admiring him like she did with other idols. Admiring him like Bam admired her.

But that wasn’t the case. Sure, Rachel smiled at him, congratulated him, and patted him in the head for having so much talent. But soon afterwards, the blond guy came to Bam again and said he didn’t want to associate his company with him anymore, that the deal was cancelled even before it started. Seeing his sad and confused face, Rachel herself confessed what had happened: she had revealed his family’s secret to that man, which meant they knew Jahad could destroy their company if he finds out that Bam is in fact Jue Viole Grace, the son of the couple he despises so much.

With that, Bam’s world came crumbling down, alongside his opportunity to bring a decent life to his dear parents.

Now, Bam was sure no opportunity like that would rise again. He was so hurt by Rachel’s betrayal that he had to leave his foster house and start staying with Wangnan, a friend from University who lived alone. He felt sorry for his foster parents, who didn’t understand why he suddenly left them without a word. Bam didn’t want to sadden them even more, by telling them their own daughter destroyed his future. He was too depressed to go to University anymore. He was a total mess.

However, things didn’t go as either of them had planned. A few months after he left the house, another man came to visit him. He had told Wangnan he didn’t want to see anyone, not even Yihwa, but Wangnan let that man in either way, and for a good reason. His name was Jinsung, and he was a recruiter for a well-known Entertainment company called FUG. He also had seen Bam performing that time, but couldn’t contact him until now.

“Want to be a star, kid?”

Bam was skeptical, of course. The man would discard him like the other one if he knew about his family background. So, he chose to mention it himself, right now, and spare them from wasting their time.

“Oh, we already know about that. That’s one of reasons we want you in FUG.” Now that was unexpected. Bam is so curious and shocked, that he stays silent and just listens to what this man has to offer. “Of course, you have remarkable talent, and we can’t let it go unnoticed. But also, well, we don’t like Jahad.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, you are not the only ones who had their lives destroyed by Jahad. However, we managed to get together and start this Entertainment Agency called FUG. Do you know White and Baylord Yama?” Bam nods slightly. They are senior idols, the most well-known who are not from Jahad Entertainment. “They are part of our star roaster.”

“Whoa…” Jinsung smiles when he sees Bam’s amazed reaction.

“So it won’t matter to us if your family is at conflict with Jahad. We all are, and we all cooperate with each other in order to bring Jahad’s business down. We will be so successful he will be forced to retire, and we want you to help us accomplish that goal. And also, you will be able to keep your true name, little Viole.”

Jinsung extends a hand at him, and Bam reaches for it hesitatingly. When would he ever have another opportunity like this one? This is even better than the one Rachel took away from him. If what Jinsung is saying is true, these people had experienced the same things his family did, but are finding their way to the top again. They will understand him, and support him and his family. He could also finally use the name his parents chose for him, if only for performing and provoking Jahad’s rage. So, he takes that hand, his last hope.

“Good. I will teach you how to become a God.”

******

With that, time passed. Bam was introduced to other members of FUG Entertainment, and was immediately assigned a manager who would put his life to order and help him in anything that was necessary for him to succeed as FUG’s new idol. His manager’s name was Khun Aguero Agnis. He was a handsome young man, almost the same age as him, with shoulder-length sky blue hair and striking cobalt eyes. Bam soon discovers he is an extremely capable manager. He succeeded in promoting his public image everywhere in just a few months, and he dealt with everyone who tried to sabotage his debut in favor of Jahad Entertainment.

But that wasn’t all. Khun quickly became his friend, his closest friend, like Rachel once was. Bam didn’t want to open up like that to anyone any time soon, but Khun managed to open his way into his heart either way, and he did it so effortlessly. They started to see each other after work too, Khun visiting him at Wangnan’s apartment almost every day. Bam felt so comfortable at Khun’s presence, like has never felt before. This job offer was the best that could ever happen to him. Preparing for his debut, with all his singing, dancing and acting classes, is really exhausting, but he would be able to make his parents proud and happy, and he got so many new friends. And especially, he got Khun in his life.

“I really like being like this with you, Khun-san.” Bam says suddenly, and Khun seems startled by his random remark. They are watching a movie and eating popcorn, like they usually do, and Khun’s head is resting in Bam’s lap, like he likes to do sometimes.

“I like it too.” Khun smiles, and brings a piece of popcorn to Bam’s lips. Bam eats it happily.

The movie ends, and Khun sits up. After a few seconds of silence, he speaks up again, looking a little concerned.

“I know I said these moments are for us to relax from work, but I have to ask. You have been taking classes for some months now, and you should be starting to write your first original song. Have you thought of anything?”

“No… I haven’t come up with anything.  In fact, I have to say I’m a little conflicted with all of this.” Khun just listens to him, patiently. “Before I came into this agency, another one offered me the same kind of deal.”

“You didn’t accept?”

“No, I accepted it, for the same reasons I signed with FUG, but Rachel told the recruiter my family is in bad terms with Jahad and they called the deal off.”

“Who is this Rachel?”

Khun seems a little annoyed. Bam didn’t tell him or anyone in the agency about Rachel, mainly because it hurt too much to talk about her. But he knows Khun, being his manager and also his best friend, should know about what happened.

“Rachel is the daughter of the couple which took me in, after my parents decided it was best for me to not live with them. We grew up almost as siblings, and I learned everything from her. I admired her. She was my star.” Bam sees Khun getting angrier. Sure, he wouldn’t like the one who betrayed his new best friend, even if he didn’t know her. “But Rachel wanted more than to be a star only for me. She wanted to become an idol, something I never dreamt about but was being offered to me instead of her. Well, after hearing I had the chance and not her, she probably didn’t want me to have anything she could not get for herself.”

“That didn’t mean she would get the chance either, right? Then why?”

“Jealousy, I guess. If she couldn’t become a star ‘cause supposedly she lacked talent, then I wouldn’t be one either.”

“That’s ridiculous. What a selfish woman. If she wants to be an idol, then she has to work for it. If you want to succeed, that’s more important than dragging someone down.”

“It’s not like I can’t understand what she felt. I didn’t want to be become a star like her, but if I had, and she had gotten the chance and not me…”

“You would have been happy for her, Bam, I know you.” Khun interrupts, with serious face. “Accept it; she is a selfish, envious girl. You should show her you are fine now, and that you are going to become the brightest star in the world, she likes it or not.”

“Isn’t that an overstatement? There’s no way I would become more famous than Jahad’s idols, or even White-san or Lord Yama.”

“Bam, you are a real star.” Khun stares directly into his eyes, and Bam’s heart beats a little faster. Those blue eyes are so mesmerizing. “You are a star that can shine so bright, no one could ever get their eyes off you. I have seen you practice, and I’m sure of it. You only need a great song to start up your career. And I know exactly about what that song has to be.”

“Really!?”

“Yeah, we can launch up your career and show that girl how much you have improved and how far you are going to go, at the same time.”

“I like the idea, but how I’m gonna do it?”

Khun takes him by the chin, his face so close to Bam’s, he can feel his hot, popcorn-scented breath. Bam feels his own cheeks getting a little flushed.

“Don’t worry. I will raise you to the skies.”

******

“Are you ready?”

“I’m nervous, Khun-san… I don’t care people of the agency seeing me rehearse, but being in front of a crowd and on television is a different thing… What if they don’t like me? I won’t be able to stand disappointing Jinsung-san, the team at FUG… even worse, disappointing you.”

“Oh, come on, Bam. You did splendidly on the rehearsals. Everyone is going to love you as much as I do.”

Bam smiles warmly, a little more relaxed after hearing that from Khun. He doesn’t realize the real meaning behind those words, though.

“How do I look? Do I look fine?”

“You look fiercely adorable, Bam, don’t worry. Our team did a great job. Well, everything is easier when you have good raw material. Don’t bite your nails!” Khun scolds him and gently slaps his hand away from his teeth. “Now go up there and sing your heart out like you always do.”

Bam nods. He is paralyzed inside, but his body moves automatically. All of those rehearsals paid off. Jinsung and his team are monsters who made him train until he almost collapsed, but Bam owes them all.

The crowd goes crazy when the lights turn on. Bam looks between the jumping and screaming people, like Khun said he should do. There she is: Rachel, his family and the one who bitterly betrayed him. She looks concerned, annoyed, but she still came. They haven’t talked at all since Bam left the house, so he doesn’t know what she thinks about his debut, which became a reality even when she desperately tried to prevent it that first time. The uncertainty hurts Bam’s heart. However, he takes a deep breath, remembering why he is here and what he is going to do.

Please watch me, Rachel. I won’t back down. Now I don’t only have my parents to make happy and proud. I also have Jinsung-san, who placed his trust in me and gave me this opportunity. Hwaryun-san and the rest of the team, who worked so hard to bring me here. Wangnan and Yihwa, so supported me all the time. And, of course, Khun-san, who did everything for me to be successful in the job and, at the same time, gave happiness to my private life. I can’t let them down. I can’t let you bring me down.

So, when the music starts, Bam sings his heart out, just like Khun said. The song they wrote together was perfect. It is upbeat, catchy, but also meaningful to his past with Jahad, to the relationship between Rachel and him, and to the future he is building with his new team.

I used to cry when you turned my lights off

I used to fight for what's burned and long lost

I used to hide from the world but, no

Not anymore, not anymore

Now the world would know Jue Viole Grace. He likes his other name, Bam, too. It has a meaning on its own (he wouldn’t have Khun call him that if he didn’t like it), but Viole was the name his parents gave to him, and the one he will use for artistic purposes. He won’t hide from world anymore. Jahad can’t touch him or his parents now.

You used to break me inside but, no

Not anymore, not anymore

You never thought that I would make it

You never thought that I would look down on your hatred

No, I won't hold my breath any longer

I will rise and I will conquer

And Rachel. He will show her he won’t give up on his team and parents’ dream. He won’t suffer because of her anymore. If she still doesn’t want him and those who are dear to him to be happy, then he is leaving her behind from now on. He will forget about her and the pain she caused him. He has dear friends to make proud now.

'Cause I'm a fighter, raging fire

Burning higher and you can't bring me down

Fighter, raging fire

Burning brighter and you can't put me out

Bam simply forgets where he is, and pours out of his emotions through the song. This is just the starting point for his new life. He will fight, for his family, for his new friends, for Khun. When the song ends, the crowd is overly excited. And Rachel… she looks extremely displeased, but Bam is surprised to notice it doesn’t matter to him anymore. If she wants to hate him, so be it. If someday she wants to apologize, he would forgive her. But now the only thing that matters is the people he is making happy through his music.

And, when he gets out of the stage, the one he makes the happiest and is always there to support him is right there. Khun welcomes him with a proud smile, and Bam runs into his open arms.

“You did so well. You were amazing.” Khun keeps whispering praise in his ear, and Bam’s chest feels fuzzy and warm. “I love you, I really do.”

Bam looks up, meeting Khun’s eyes, which are full of affection and something else he can’t clearly describe. He doesn’t know when Khun’s lips got on his, until a wet tongue opens a path into his mouth. Bam can only blink in disbelief. Is Khun kissing him? Why? Is it nothing more than a way of congratulating him? Is it something more?

When Khun finally separates from him, he simply smiles at him, the same way he did before that sudden act. He gives him another kiss, this one a soft peck on his forehead, and then goes away to talk to their team, probably about his performance and how he should be preparing for the press conference booked up after the show.

And Bam? He is dumbfounded. What did that mean? He was just getting over what Rachel did, getting over his affection for her, and now Khun does this. The strange part is that it felt so good, so natural, like he was meant to kiss him. Bam’s fingers linger on top of his own lips, remembering how Khun’s felt against them.

But the only thing he can do now is shake his head and shove those thoughts to the back of his mind. Now he would have to deal with launching his own career as an idol, while confused by his manager’s feelings. But now he can only smile widely. He had managed to perform his first song in front of an enormous crowd, face Rachel once again, and got kissed by Khun. All things made him incredibly happy, somehow.

He could leave dealing with the lingering confusion and anxiety for another day. He is a fighter after all. Nothing will bring him down, if he has Khun by his side.

-END of DAY 4-

[Fanfic] Tower of God - Collection for KhunBam week 2020: Day 3

No sé cómo logro estar al día, pero ayer lo logré también c: Así que aquí está el capítulo, porque considerando que se está convirtiendo en una historia de varios caps, al estar en la misma continuidad, sería un cap más que simplemente la entry del día. Tal vez algún día arregle estas cosas , que están hechas muy a la rápida (y las traduzca al español c:).

*****

Collection for KhunBam week 2020

by RPMizu

Day 3: Comfort / Injury

“Bam! How many times I have to tell you not to be so reckless when training!”

Khun’s voice resounded in the hallway walls when he sees Bam getting out of the room he uses for training. He has scratches all over, an especially awful wound in his leg, and a profusely bleeding cut in his forehead. Khun approaches him with his arms crossed, an angry expression in his face. Bam just laughs nervously.

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Ahahaha, I’m sorry, Khun-san. I’ll go get changed now.”

Khun doesn’t let him escape, though. He grabs Bam by the arm and takes him to his own room instead. Bam protests a little, but doesn’t put any real resistance, even when Khun makes him sit in his bed and wait for him. Minutes later, Khun comes back with some clean clothes, a towel, a first-aid kit, and a tray with food.

“You didn’t have to get such luxuries for me.” Bam says laughing.

“I did it because I wanted to, so don’t complain and accept my generosity.” Bam smiles warmly, and Khun’s heartbeat accelerates a little. He looks so cute. Thankfully, he has trained himself to not show anything. “Eat something while I treat your wounds.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m fine, don’t worry.”

But still, he takes the food on the tray and starts eating, staying still. Khun knows Bam is waiting for him to do exactly as he said he would do: treat his wounds. Although Khun managed to get him shaken with his love confession some weeks ago, now the way Bam is acting around him is the same as always. Sure, Khun is partly glad of that. Bam doesn’t seem awkward around him, as Khun initially feared he would. The smile Bam gives him when Khun sits in a chair in front of him and starts disinfecting the cuts all over his body, says that he wants Khun to take care of him as always, to be spoiled by him. And Khun is infinitely glad he still can do these things for Bam.

However, it also irks him to no end, to get no reaction from Bam. Yeah, Bam was shocked at his confession because he didn’t expect it, and didn’t understand what it really meant. He was distant for a few days, probably trying to process everything that happened that day, but soon enough started smiling at him again like always, even taking him by the arm, and occasionally hugging him when no one was looking. It’s like he has already forgotten that Khun said he loves him, infinitely more than as a friend. Maybe he should remind him of his confession, or Bam would never get a clue. He loves Bam’s innocence, but it’s so frustrating he can’t help being a little rough when he disinfects the deep cut in his head.

However, that action backfires when he hears the sound Bam makes because of it. “Ahh…! Khun-san, it hurts a little.”

That sounded so much like a moan, Khun licks his own lips. He knows Bam doesn’t get that gesture, so it’s fine. “Sorry, but try not to move so much, or it will be worse.”

Obeying his words like he almost always does, Bam stays completely still. He even stops swinging his legs. It’s like he is entrusting all of himself to Khun. That’s dangerous, little chestnut. Maybe he should remind Bam with what kind of eyes he sees him.

So, after wrapping the wound on the head and cleaning all the blood that stained Bam’s beautiful face, Khun kneels in front of him and rolls up his pants to have better access to the biggest injury. It’s still bleeding slightly, and it’s decorated by a huge pale bruise. It doesn’t look good at all. Thankfully, he knows Bam cures quickly. He just needs to disinfect it, stop the bleeding completely and wrap it up with a few bandages, hoping Bam would rest that leg before thinking of training again. He knows is hopeless, though.

“Dear Bam, how could you do this to yourself? How much more are you going to push yourself?”

“Well, whatever it takes. I have to get stronger. I have to protect you all if something bad happens,” Bam then whispers the next thing, but Khun manages to hear it nonetheless. “especially since bad things happen to people specifically because they are near me.”

“We chose to be with you, Bam. I, in particular, am with you willingly, and you know why.”

That’s when he starts caressing Bam’s injured leg, and then gets his face up close to the wound. Bam shivers slightly when his breathing falls down upon the sensitive skin.

“Such a waste, when you have such nice legs.”

Khun begins licking the blood dripping across his leg, and he has to grab it firmly before Bam ends up kicking him in the face, considering the way he is squirming at his touch. Bam whispers Khun’s name, and the way he does it lights the fire inside Khun even more. He is still not resisting, he doesn’t push him away even when he clearly is stepping over boundaries. He will continue then. His mouth gets to the source of that blood, and he kisses it, licking and sucking directly into the wound. Sweet delicious sounds come out from Bam, moans and his name muttered. This is dangerous.

“How can you be so sexy when you are so clueless?”

Khun stands up and leans on top of Bam, who lets himself be pushed back onto the bed. Khun kisses his forehead, near the recently bleeding cut is. Then he kisses his cheek, and Bam still doesn’t react, his big golden eyes just staring at him expectantly. When his lips are almost touching Bam’s, he stops. It’s so, so tempting to just devour that mouth since he is handing himself over on a silver platter like this. But no, he mustn’t do it. He must not take advantage of Bam’s innocence and confusion.

“I won’t kiss you yet. I told you already.”

So he backs down, and Bam looks completely perplexed. Khun feels his blood boil, in a mix of lust for having been so close to Heaven, and rage for the lack of reaction on Bam’s part. It isn’t fair. It’s just not fair. So, Khun snaps.

“Why!? Why aren’t you resisting? You said you couldn’t give me an answer. If you don’t like me or don’t even know if you like me, just push me away!”

“I… I don’t want you away from me.”

“I know! I know!” Khun messes up his own hair, exasperated. With Bam, but especially with himself. “I’m sorry, ok!?”

Khun simply stares at the floor, while he disinfects the  big cut in Bam’s leg and starts wrapping it in bandages. He doesn’t dare to look at Bam’s probably concerned eyes. God, he didn’t want Bam to feel guilty, or worried about him. He didn’t want him to push him away either. He feared that more than anything else before confessing his feelings, after all. What does he want, then? The answer is clear. He wants Bam to react, to say he loves him too, to ask for the kiss he is refusing to give. But that won’t happen. Bam doesn’t see him like that. He is not even his most important person. That spot is for that blonde bitch that doesn’t deserve him at all. But does Khun deserve Bam? Probably not. God, it was much easier when Bam didn’t know about his feelings, because Khun couldn’t expect anything if Bam didn’t know a single thing.

After some minutes of silence, which seemed like an eternity, Khun speaks up again. “Take a bath and change your clothes. My bathroom is bigger than yours, so you will be able to relax more comfortably. Take as much time as you want. I’ll go get some fresh air.”

“Khun-san…”

He doesn’t wait for an answer. He simply leaves the room quickly, not looking at the probably sad and confused expression in Bam’s lovely face.

The fresh air of the night should have helped him cool his head, but it hasn’t. If Khun didn’t care so much about his teeth getting yellow, he would be smoking nonstop right now. He can’t take the image of Bam’s non reacting face out his mind. It seemed like Bam was just waiting for him to do something. Even clueless Bam could tell Khun was getting near him with sexual intentions, right? What should have he done? What was Bam expecting? It is probably wishful thinking to imagine Bam is actually expecting something from him.

“What are you doing out here? I thought you were treating the Black Turtle!”

Of course, it has to be Rak who interrupts his self-torturing thoughts, stomping into the terrace. Khun just sighs, having decided to ignore the alligator, but Rak doesn’t go away. It’s to be expected though. It’s Rak, after all.

“Listen to your mighty leader!”

“Can’t you see I want to be alone? Bam is alright, if that’s what’s bothering you. I treated his wounds and he should be taking a bubble bath now.”

“…” Rak just glares at him, and Khun refuses to stare back. “What did you do to the Black Turtle? Confess! I know you did something! You wouldn’t be so depressed if nothing had happened!”

“Why do I have to be the one who did something!?”

“Because you are one sneaky turtle!”

Khun sighs for the tenth time this night, and then smiles bitterly. Rak is correct, much to his dismay. Surprisingly, Rak goes sit by his side, on top of the veranda he is leaning into. This is just like when Rak wanted to force him into going to save Bam from FUG’s clutches, years ago.

“You are right, though. I was the one at fault.”

“Well, even if you are indeed a sneaky turtle, you wouldn’t hurt the Black Turtle, I know that. So, what happened?”

Khun stays silent for a while, and can sense Rak getting increasingly upset. Even then, he doesn’t punch the answers out of him like he usually does. He probably senses this is a serious issue. Khun is sure Rak won’t go away if he doesn’t talk though, so he just sighs (again), and lets the words flow.

“When I was little, whenever I found a jewel I liked, I would hide it somewhere so I wouldn’t lose it. So I never got to try it on.” He had told this to Wangnan in the past, but Rak doesn’t seem to understand right away. “Now Bam is my jewel. I’m too afraid to lose him, so I tried really hard not say anything, nor touch him. But I was weak, and my feelings slipped out. And now I’m mortifying myself because Bam doesn’t know what to do with me, but doesn’t push me away either.”

“Do you want him to push you away?”

“Of course not! But I don’t like him not saying anything either. Everything was much easier when I was just holding all in. I know I don’t deserve to be by his side, no one deserves a treasure like that, but… now that I already said how I feel, I can’t help hoping he would accept me. I flew too close to the sun, man.”

“So it’s like when you have delicious food out of your reach: you can endure it because you don’t know the taste, and it’s, well, out of your reach. But after getting a taste, now you are like a dog with a steak right in front of him, but getting told to sit and not eat?”

Khun just stares at Rak, dumbfounded. “That’s the most ridiculous, and strangely accurate comparison I ever heard. Yeah, it’s something like that. I’m kind of concerned about you comparing Bam with a steak though.” Well, he does seem that delicious. “I just don’t want to lose what’s most important to me, that’s all.”

“You are such a fool.”

A vein exploded in Khun’s forehead. “I’m opening up to you, and that’s all you have to say!?” Even worse, Rak smacks him in the back of his head. Having used more strength, he could have pushed Khun down the terrace. “Hey!!”

“Do you really think you don’t deserve the Black Turtle? You have done everything for him! Geez, we all know there is no one who deserves him more than you, Blue Turtle! And the Black Turtle likes you more than you might think.”

“That’s just wishful thinking. I’m not going to deceive myself like that. You know Bam loves everybody.”

“The Great Rak doesn’t lie! Don’t even pity lies!”

“Stop hitting me, you barbaric gator!”

“You are such a coward little turtle! Just take him for yourself if you like him so much!”

“I’m not an animal to just throw myself on top of him and force him to be with me! Gosh, everything you say is concerning me now.”

“He won’t complain, I’m telling you. Now cheer up! I’m sure I didn’t raise you into a weak and coward turtle! If you want your Black Turtle, then you go get your Black Turtle!”

“You didn’t raise me at all, you know.”

Khun smiles tiredly, but, at the bottom of his heart, he is glad Rak was the one who came to talk to him. He wouldn’t admit it though. Even if he is obnoxious, Rak has the uncanny ability to cheer him up via making him angry and/or exasperated, and that’s exactly what he is accomplishing now, with his stupid remarks and his overly simple solutions to his complex problems.

“But you have to promise to take care of him! He is my prey, after all. You have to keep him safe!”

“I will, even if you don’t tell me to. Bam is my jewel, after all.”

Yeah, he will protect him. He will stay by side, even if it meant enduring his yearning for him once more, and forgetting he ever said something about his feelings to Bam. Rak didn’t know a thing. He can’t risk losing Bam to his own desperate lust.

I shall protect him, even from myself.

-END of DAY 3-