Por fin estoy de vacaciones, así que pude dedicar un poquito más de tiempo a terminar este reto, que como siempre nunca termino en el tiempo que debería ser XD Es que a mí se me ocurre escribir cosas medias largas u.u No sé como terminé el del 2020 en la misma semana XD Y me salté un año, que no sé si en algún momento de este año trataré de recuperarlo o.o Para serle fiel a las semanas de mi OTP XD Bue, que aquí está la parte 6, que la subí ayer a AO3 c:
*****
Collection for KhunBaam week 2022
by RPMizu
Day 6: Happiness / Experiment
Ever since Baam confessed his love for Khun, he had to live with a tiny bit of uncertainty. After all, Khun had not answered his simple and straightforward confession. Baam tried asking Khun about it at every chance he got; however, since Khun did not even acknowledge Baam’s feelings as real, Baam never got a real answer. It was so frustrating, to not know what Khun felt for him, and even worse, not be taken seriously by him. Why would Khun think he is confused and just thinks he is in love but not really? Something about being vulnerable, Khun had said. Baam did not understand.
Nonetheless, when he asked Leeso or anyone in his team about it, everyone seemed to think it was obvious that Khun loved him back, even though it was not so evident for Baam himself. He blames his own inexperience for it, since it was also hard for him to grasp and then comprehend his own feelings. Well, Khun did not really reject him when Baam kissed him, and of course, Khun has been treating him in a special way since forever. That much is evident, even for Baam.
Maybe his team is not so far from the truth. But he could not be sure, and Baam had feared this situation would made things awkward between them. Gladly, they somehow still managed to behave normally around one another most of the time. Maybe because the Tower would not let them concentrate in anything other than trying to survive, or maybe because they really are comfortable with each other regardless of these complicated things. Baam hopes it is the latter, of course.
However, that uncertainty ended at the Hidden Floor. After those events, Baam accidentally learned a lot about Khun’s feelings for him. At that moment, he took his virtual self in, and therefore inherited all of Viole’s memories. All that pain and loneliness made Baam struggle at first; it made him feel guilty, that such a lonely creature was made only to be his mortal enemy. Baam is convinced he did the right thing by taking him in, though. That way they will be one, and neither of them would have to live alone ever again.
But then other memories started to pop up. Memories about Khun visiting his virtual self night after night, in order to satisfy his primal desires for him, for Baam. No wonder Khun felt that accepting Baam’s feelings just yet would be like manipulating him into something he does not understand. After all, and just like Baam, Viole did not even know what sex was and, regardless of that, Khun took advantage of Viole’s feelings of love and loneliness, and ended up having sex with him many times. Therefore, deep down Khun wants to do those things regardless of Baam not really understanding what they mean. And from what Baam could gather from Viole’s memories, Khun had to control himself to not push him down and simply take him by force. The experience had been painful for both Baam’s virtual self and Khun. Baam feels a sting aching in his chest at the thought.
That meant Baam’s ignorance is hurting Khun even now, right?
He had been so clueless.
Everyone told him that Khun felt that way for him, but he could not believe it unless Khun said so himself. And now he found out this, that Khun wanted to have sex with him so badly he used a copy of Baam to vent some of those secret desires. Even Khun’s virtual father, Khun Edahn, had been right in thinking Khun wanted Baam that way. In fact, if Khun Edahn had not done those things to him too, maybe Baam would not have understood anything about what Khun did with his other self. Baam shakes his head frantically at the thought. He wants to forget that happened, because of how confusing it was and the strange feelings it caused in him.
However, Baam has to acknowledge that thanks to that experience, now he is not so unfamiliar with Khun’s desires for him, as the virtual Khun Edahn made Baam realize he too would want to do those things with his Mr. Khun. And of course, there are the memories he inherited from Viole, who got to know much more about sex than Baam himself. After all, what Baam experienced was just one time, and he was not even penetrated by Khun Edahn (“I’ll leave that for my son. I’m such a good parent”, Khun Edahn had said while laughing). Therefore, Viole’s memories were crucial antecedents to better understand his own feelings for Khun.
Being alone for two long years after the events at the Last Station, Baam had the chance to reflect long and hard about this. Now Baam knows much more about love and sex than what he knew when he confessed to Khun, and he is pretty sure he does love Khun, like, for real. Just as Viole wanted Khun even if it hurt, Baam craves for Khun with his entire being. He wants to experience everything with Khun. And of course, that includes having sex.
But he cannot say that to Khun, even though he has finally woken up now and come to Baam’s side again. On one part, Viole swore to himself he would not let Baam know about what happened between them, as it would mean betraying Khun, and Baam wants to honor that oath. And on the other part, Baam cannot let Khun know about what happened between him and Khun’s virtual father. Khun might want to enter the Hidden Floor again just to attempt murder on the copy of his dad. But how can he explain how he came to understand everything without mentioning those two things? Baam cannot come up with any good lie, and he is terrible at lying anyways. Anyone, let alone Khun, would see right through Baam if he tried to lie, so why even bother?
And so Baam came up with a plan. First, and since he knows his ignorance until now has made Khun suffer with the desire he had bottled up, Baam will focus on compensating Khun and making him smile. To accomplish that, Baam wrote a list of little experiments. He is tuning some details of his list right now, actually. He is lying on his bed, scribbling on a wrinkled piece of paper and humming with a wide smile. His heart is full of hope that this will bring Khun at least a bit of the happiness he deserves. A soft giggle escapes his lips.
And so, in the subsequent month, Baam starts putting in practice different ideas, by following a detailed schedule.
Experiment 1: Bringing breakfast to Mr. Khun’s bed
This idea was quite appropriate to be his first experiment. As everyone in their team knows, usually Khun only has a cup of coffee for breakfast and nothing more. Someone has to change Khun’s diet into a healthier one, and who would be better for that role than Baam, the only person who can convince Khun into almost anything. Also, Baam knows his cooking is more than decent, so, by following this idea Baam would not have to spend time learning new skills, as he would need for most of his other ideas. For these reasons, it was a perfect starting point of his plan.
Therefore, one day Baam went into the kitchen early in the morning, to prepare everything for Khun. The menu was already written down in his secret schedule. Khun does not like to eat much, so something light and healthy would be best. And of course he would include Khun’s most beloved coffee, to which Baam added a tiny bit of brown sugar to make it a little sweeter.
After being eyed with curiosity by Leeso and Hatz in the kitchen, Baam came out with a tray carrying the following: a cup of coffee and a glass of apple juice, toasts with different toppings (mostly jam, avocado and tomato), and a piece of pie. Though Khun does not like sweet things that much, Baam wanted to make something special with his own hands, and this was what came to his mind. In the end, all that mattered was that Khun liked it; then everything would be worth it.
Baam entered Khun’s room as quietly as possible, to not disturb his sleep. He wanted to wake Khun up with a kiss. Sadly, that was the first thing that did not go as Baam had hoped. Khun was already awake, sitting under the covers and working on something on this laptop. Swallowing up his disappointment, Baam frowned as he left the tray on the bedside table with a thud, effectively catching Khun’s attention.
“B-Baam, good morning. What are you doing here so early?” Khun laughed nervously. Well, at least he was aware that he should not be working so early in the morning and without even having a meal. “Oh, what is all that?”
The surprise in Khun’s voice changed Baam’s frown into a proud smile. “I made you breakfast.”
Baam’s heart fluttered a bit as Khun smiled back. It was an incredibly fond smile, and it was just for him. “You didn’t have to. I only need coffee anyway.” Baam must have made a very frightening expression, because Khun immediately took back what he just said. “But that would be bad, right? It would be unhealthy on my part, and we can’t allow that, right?”
“Right.” said Baam, hands on his hips and trying to still look upset, but failing as a giggle went unrepressed. “You must eat, Mr. Khun. Eat so you remain healthy and strong.” His words made Khun laugh softly. Good, it seems the first experiment is producing the desired results; Baam could not help think with hope. ”It’s handmade, so I hope you like it.”
“The pie is handmade?” Khun mentioned, as he took a bite of toast with jam. “That must have been a great deal of work. You’re amazing, Baam.”
“It’s just a small pie, nothing big.” Khun praising him made Baam blush a little. At least internally; he hoped it did not show on his face. He must have been smiling like an idiot too, even enough he was the one supposed to be making Khun happy and not the other way around.
This was especially true when Baam sat on a chair next to Khun’s bed and Khun took the opportunity to pet his head with care. Baam’s heart raced uncontrollably inside his chest, and soon he found himself leaning into the touch. “It’s still amazing. You are amazing, Baam; don’t ever think otherwise, ok?”
Still, it seemed to be working. At least, Khun looked happy and relaxed, as he resumed tasting the treats in front of him. “Thank you.” That warm smile was all Baam needed to convince himself that his plan was indeed working. And if Khun is capable of making Baam this happy with just a smile and petting his head a little, then Baam’s simple but well-meaning actions may make Khun happy too, right?
He really hoped he was right.
But it was not time to be satisfied just yet. There was still much more to do. For the time being, and since the first idea worked well, he added it to his routine: making breakfast for Khun at least once a week.
Experiment 2: Sleeping together
The next thing on the list, which Baam could do without having to waste time acquiring new skills, was this idea: sleeping together with Khun. It sounds easy enough and, truth be told, it would not be the first time they slept together. It was something usual for them during their time in the Floor of Tests, after all. However, the habit was somewhat lost after Baam became Viole and was forced apart from his original team. Nonetheless, upon reuniting with them, Baam did ask Khun and Rak to sleep together again, although far less frequently than before. And they always agreed, even though Khun hated sleeping with the squirmy alligator. No one would like it if they woke up in the middle of the night with a paw cutting off their breath. The thought makes Baam grin.
However, Baam has not asked for this favor again ever since Khun woke up from his icy slumber, so he is feeling a bit lonely once more. But that is not why he thought this was a good idea for his experiments, of course. He is doing these things to make Khun happy, not for himself. So why did Baam think that something so trivial could make Khun significantly happy? Well, after FUG let them reunite that first time and they got to sleep together again, sometimes Baam would wake up in the middle of the night, with Khun hugging him tightly against his body. Khun’s breath would be uneven, and his heart would beat fast inside his chest. And a low whisper would tell him why, why Khun woke up so abruptly and decided to cage Baam between his arms: “You are here. Thank God you are here…”
In those moments, Baam never said anything or let Khun know he was awake; every time he just let Khun hug him for as long as he wanted, even if sometimes his grip was too tight and painful. He did not want Khun to be embarrassed for having nightmares about losing him. Baam understands it better than anyone, after all. For Baam, sleeping alone has always been a bit frightening. When he was away from his team, falling asleep itself was already difficult, as FUG taught him to be on edge all the time. And when he actually managed to close his eyes and lose consciousness, he was attacked by countless nightmares, each worse than the one before. That way, Baam was forced to learn how to sleep alone without feeling that he was back in the cave. It was horrible, tortuous even. And although he got through it, Baam still craved being with his dear comrades more than ever. He specially wanted to be with Mr. Khun all the time, and that was, in fact, the first sign he had to understand his own feelings for Khun.
Baam deeply understands Khun’s pain and fear. Therefore, he knew this idea could low Khun’s levels of anxiety; he would not have to wonder if Baam effectively was in his own room across the hallway at night. And of course, Baam was not fooling himself either: he too wanted to feel safer and be by Khun’s side at night, after losing him again for two whole years.
And it was worth noting that his experiment now considered just the two of them sleeping together, without Rak getting in the picture. Baam loves Rak, of course, but he knows Khun never sleeps well when Rak is with them, and only accepts the request because Baam is the one asking. So Baam assumed Khun would be able to rest considerably better if it was only them.
This had to work. There was nothing that could go wrong with this idea, right? They have slept together so many times before, after all.
Or so Baam thought.
He should have known something was wrong as soon as he took his first step into Khun’s room that night and suggested sleeping together, just the two of them. Khun froze up in that instant; his whole body was tense, rigid. Still, he smiled awkwardly and accepted the proposal, as if nothing was wrong. So Baam tried not to think much about that concerning and evident reaction.
As Khun went to take a bath before turning in for the day, Baam, already in his pajamas, slipped between the bed sheets and covered himself up until his eyes were the only visible part of his face. Those very same eyes stared at the ceiling above him, trying to suppress the anxiety that sleeping with Khun now brought to him. After all, it would be the first time they slept together ever since he understood his real feelings for Khun. Of course he was nervous.
It just did not cross his mind that Khun might feel the same way, since he is always so collected, so in control of everything. So when Khun went to bed with him, Baam did not think there would be any problem if he snuggled against Khun and rested his head against his shoulder. The frosty aroma emitting from Khun’s body and his steady breath always managed to calm Baam down. And he hoped his own presence would help Khun be more at peace too.
However, it did not take long for Baam to notice Khun’s accelerated heartbeat against his ears, as, in his cuddling, his own head ended on top of Khun’s chest. As Baam looked up to see Khun’s expression amidst the darkness, he could barely notice how Khun was biting his own lower lip and his eyes had a strange glimmer in them.
“Mr. Khun…?” Baam was not sure if his voice had been audible. It came out as a quiet murmur through his lips, but apparently it did catch Khun’s attention.
“You are so warm…” There was a cold hand on his head. Another one was caressing his back, and it gave him pleasurable goosebumps as it drew little circles there with one finger. “And you smell so good…” And the raspy whispers in his ear made Baam shiver a little.
Unconsciously, Baam wiggled between Khun’s arms. “I just took a bath, that’s all…” He was not going to sleep with Khun while smelling like sweat and dirt from his training, after all. Still, Khun saying those things made Baam’s cheeks grow hot. “Mr. Khun…?”
Now Khun’s face was right in front of his own, their noses barely touching. Baam could even smell traces of mint toothpaste coming from Khun’s mouth. He should not have been wondering if his own breath also smelled good like Khun’s at that point. But it was the only thing he could do when he was trying so hard to avoid those deep blue eyes staring at face. Or was at his lips?
Unlike the voice he had been using until that moment, this time there was absolute certainty in Khun’s tone. “Do you want me to lose my mind?” The hand in Baam’s back left its place there and proceeded to grip Baam’s chin. Khun’s other hand, on Baam’s head, did not move from that spot; however, it grabbed his hair slightly, forcing Baam to confront Khun’s stare even when he was trying so hard not to. “You want that, don’t you?”
“M-Mr. Khun…?” Baam did not know how to react. Having Khun so close to him and with this somewhat threatening attitude made his heart race hard inside his chest. He did not remember being this attracted to someone before, not even when virtual Khun Edahn did all those things to him.
“…I don’t think you know what you’re dealing with, Baam.”
Oh, he knows. Or at least he thought he knew, since he saw all those memories from his virtual self. But actually experiencing things is very different from just seeing them in a movie made of memories. So when Khun took his mouth with his own, Baam knew he was not prepared for this at all. What started as a soft and tentative peck, soon transformed into a series of deep kisses, which lit a fire inside Baam that grew stronger with each passing second. Khun was not just kissing him; he was devouring Baam’s lips. His tongue reached deep inside his mouth, and every time Baam separated in search for air, Khun bit his lip and pulled him back in. And Baam could only reciprocate as best as he could, having little experience in this kind of thing.
When Khun’s mouth moved to his neck, Baam’s whole body shivered uncontrollably. Were they actually going to do it? These experiments were designed to make Khun happy and to compensate for being so clueless and insensitive regarding Khun’s feelings for him, so this happening was maybe the best thing he could give to Khun, for sure; a chance to let his own feelings flow and discharge them on Baam. However, Baam was a little scared. He did not know if he was ready to have sex just yet. He was not expecting this when he asked Khun to sleep together. He should have known, though; he saw Viole’s memories, after all.
But he could not let Khun know about his hesitation. That would give him the wrong idea, so he had to go along with it. He was sure he wanted to do it with Khun at some point, after all, so it did not matter if it was now or later, right? He might as well go along with it. He was horny as hell too, after all. But still…
“I told you this was dangerous.” Khun said suddenly, taking Baam out of his thoughts. Baam lifts his head to look at Khun’s concerned eyes. “You shouldn’t have come here.”
“N-no, Mr. Khun, I’m fine. Please continue.” It made him really embarrassed to say that, as his chest went up and down, trying to catch his breath and slow down his heartbeat.
“God, don’t tempt me anymore, Baam, please. I’m really good at self-control, but when it’s about you it’s a different story.”
Khun lifted his body from on top of Baam’s and sat straight on the bed, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. He looked so upset. Damn this was supposed to make Khun happy, not to complicate things even further between them. Baam knew he should not let Khun notice his insecurities, but as always, Khun could read him like a book. Baam slaps himself mentally, for being so goddamn obvious every time.
Maybe he could still fix the situation. “But you don’t have to control yourself with me! I told you I love you, and I want to do this kind of things with you.”
Khun simply stared at him, in silence. It was just a few seconds, but for Baam it felt like an eternity. And then Khun spoke, with the same expressionless look on his face. “Then why are you so tense? Look at you.”
Just then, he noticed Khun was right: Baam’s body was all tensed up, his hands having squeezed the bed sheets tightly, to the point they were all wrinkled up in a tight knot. “Ah…” His voice came out shaky too. Was he really that afraid of being intimate with Khun? He wanted to have sex with Khun, he was sure of it. The heat crawling through his body even up to this point was proof of it. He knew Khun could be quite aggressive in bed, as Viole’s memories told him, but Khun never really forced Viole, even if Viole was indeed confused, scared and hurt. So Baam was not afraid of Khun himself, right?
Khun’s next words took Baam out of his own thoughts once again. “I’m sorry. I’m determined to wait until you are ready, Baam, I really am, but it’s just so difficult when you come into my room and offer yourself like this.” That made Baam blush, no doubt. Was he really coming off that way? He really intended this to be an innocent sleepover, something to make Khun feel relaxed and secure. It ended having the opposite effect, though. Great. “Or probably I’m the one interpreting it like that. There is no way you would be teasing me on purpose, right?”
Did Khun read his mind? He was just thinking about how he did not do it intentionally.
“I’m sorry. You can sleep here tonight, and I’ll go somewhere else.” Baam’s dry throat did not allow words to come out from his mouth, so he chose to grab Khun’s pajama shirt to prevent him from leaving. But Khun simply smiled at him, a deeply troubled smile, one that Baam did not want to see on his face. “Don’t worry; I’m just going out for a walk. I need to clear my head.”
Excellent. This little experiment ended up in complete failure. He would need to discard this idea for now, at least until he is ready to actually do it with Khun. Repeating this would only lead to more frustration and bottled up desire on Khun’s part. He should have known better. But now was too late. Khun was already out of the room, probably feeling more troubled than ever. All because of his own stupidity. Stupid Baam.
And so the sleep together idea was moved to the bottom of the list.
Experiment 3: Getting Khun a special present
But that incident would not discourage Baam. He needed to move on to the next idea in his list: the special present.
A special present does not necessarily mean something handmade, but Baam concluded, after thinking long and hard about it, that he wanted to make a gift for Khun with his own hands. But what could be a good present? At first, Baam thought about crafting jewelry for him, since Khun liked to wear fancy earrings. However, if he picked that option, Baam wanted to collect the gemstones personally, and then he would have to learn about jewel crafting from scratch and on his own, and then finally make the gift itself. Therefore, it would take a very long time to actually give Khun his present. And so Baam decided to save that particular idea for later, and needed to think of something else.
The definitive idea came to him when he was helping Rak with cleaning his room. Amidst the chaos that was Rak’s room, Baam found something Rak drew himself. He could not help smiling fondly as he saw the piece of paper. It was made with crayon, and it pictured Rak (or at least a figure that looked like him) taking care of two little turtles, one blue and one black. Although the drawing was not neat at all, it was fairly cute, and it was obvious whom those two turtles represented.
Baam was lost in the fondness the cute image caused in him, when Rak rudely took the paper from his hands. This action was accompanied by an incomprehensible, ear-piercing yell. His face was bright red, how adorable. “I-It’s not what you think, Black Turtle!”
“Oh come on, Rak, it’s ok. I think it’s really cute.” Baam tried to reassure him, but his words had the opposite effect.
“I-I’m not cute by any means! I’m a hunter, I can’t be cute!” With a swift movement, the drawing disappeared from Baam’s sight, but he knew exactly where it was now. Rak could not fool his eyes, trained to accurately perceive actions from incredibly fast opponents.
“…Mr. Rak, did you just eat your own drawing?” Rak’s eyes were filled with guilt, but he swallowed the paper nonetheless. “Mr. Rak!” Baam tried to open Rak’s mouth by force, but it was futile: the drawing was gone. “Mr. Rak, you shouldn’t eat paper, it’s not good for you.” Rak looked down in silence, as if he was being scolded by his dad. Baam just took a deep sigh. “And that drawing… it was so nice. If you didn’t like it, you could have given it to me.”
“No, it had to be destroyed. You said it was cute, and I shall not be called cute.”
“But…” Baam looked at Rak, trying to convey how sad this made him. It was not a tragedy, of course, but he had really liked the drawing and it was such a pity it was gone. “I wanted it… Is it not okay?”
“Mmm…” Rak seemed deeply troubled now. Then he screamed incoherently once again, while scratching his head. “Okay! I’ll draw another one for you, so stop making that sad face, Black Turtle!”
Baam’s expression brightened up immediately. Even though Rak was the one who did the kiddy drawing, Baam was the one getting spoiled like a child now. How embarrassing. Well, he would get a cute drawing from Rak, so it was fine, he guessed.
Then the idea came to mind. The two turtles… What he could give to Khun.
“That’s it… Thank you, Mr. Rak! You are a genius!”
“Wait, wha-!?”
Baam deposited a kiss on Rak’s cheek, and then exited the room, leaving his speechless friend behind. How could he not think about this before? Something nice he could make with his own hands and that was meaningful for both Khun and himself. It was settled. He was going to sew a black turtle plushie.
So Baam spent most nights without sleep, working on his little gift for Khun. He could not do it during the day, because he was either too busy with training, or surrounded by people. So the only instances he had to work on his secret project were late at night. Baam knew how to stick buttons or fix basting stitches, but he had never sewn something so big and from scratch. So he had to learn first; that took a few hours of watching tutorials, and several instances of trial and error.
But after some nights, his work started to take form and look more and more like a little turtle plushie. Baam was so satisfied with himself that he did not care about his needle-stabbed fingers, or the constant yawning, or the growing black circles below his eyes, even though his comrades did start to worry. Keeping Khun from worrying too much and also not tell him what was going on was the hardest part.
But all his work gave fruit when the plushie was finally done. It looked so cute on top of Baam’s palms. It did not seem deformed as he expected at first; it really looked like a little turtle. Baam giggled as he hugged it against his chest. “Please bring happiness to Mr. Khun, little one.”
And so, after putting the plushie inside a present box, Baam immediately made his way to Khun’s room, with his chest filled with hope and expectations. It was not so late yet, so Khun might still be awake. Baam even crossed paths with Leeso and Hatz on the hallway as he went to his destination. He just nodded at them, then giggled and walked faster, feeling like a mischievous child.
He knocked at Khun’s door and entered after hearing a clear “Come in!”, while hiding the gift box behind his back. Khun was not alone though: Rak was jumping nonstop on Khun’s bed, and Khun was trying his best to pull him down from there. Baam could not help smiling fondly at the image. They are so much like brothers.
“Baam, thank God you are here! Please tell this stupid alligator to get down of my bed. He’s going to break it at any moment!”
“But it’s so bouncy!” That was all Rak had to say in his defense, and it made Baam giggle once again. As for Khun, he just gave himself a facepalm.
They continued bickering, not minding Baam until he put forward the gift box and cleared his throat to get their attention. “Mr. Khun… I wanted to give you something.”
“A gift? For me? Why? It’s not my birthday yet.”
Ah, who would have said this idea would make Baam so nervous? Khun was right; there was no reason to give him a present at a time like this, but he could not tell Khun about his special plan yet. Argh, why did he have to question everything the moment he found something to be suspicious? And there was the fact that Khun might not even like the gift. Maybe Khun would think it was childish, Baam did not know. He felt his hands getting a little sweaty and his grip on the gift box grew a little stronger.
“Present box!” While Baam was too busy with his insecurities, Rak got off the bed and landed in front of him, proceeding to take the box from Baam’s hands with little to no delicacy. “What is it!? What is it!?”
“Give me that!” Khun quickly grabbed the box too, leaving a disappointed Rak behind. “Baam said it’s for me. Don’t touch it.”
Rak tried to fight Khun as always, but Baam reacted in time now, containing him in place before he jumped on top of Khun. Gosh, Rak was even more excited about the present than Khun. That was no good; this was supposed to make Khun happy, him specifically. Well, it was not as if Khun did not look happy though, Baam tried to tell himself. Still, his heart raced inside his chest as Khun unwrapped his present box with upmost care. And when Khun pulled out the little plushie and the expression in his face became blank, Baam’s heart seemed to stop completely. Did he not like it? Baam did not think he could feel so much sorrow from such a simple assumption.
“Did you make this, Baam?” was the first thing Khun said, as Baam felt Rak struggling between his own arms, probably trying to get a better look, though it must have been a hard thing to accomplish, as Baam was pressing Rak’s head against his own chest absentmindedly. At Khun’s question, his throat and lips felt dry and the words did not come out, so he simply nodded slowly. “…Did you stay late at night so you could make this for me? That’s why you were so sleepy all the time?”
“Yes…?”
That answer immediately got him a smack on the head. It did not hurt (of course, Khun did not want to hurt him), but it effectively got Baam off balance, making him let go of his hold on Rak. It seemed Khun really did not like it. Tears accumulated on the corners of Baam’s eyes, and his throat felt even drier than before.
However, when Baam dared to look up, all he could see in Khun’s face was worry. “Jeez, Baam, you shouldn’t stay late just to make something for me. I thought you were worried about the war, or about your Master, or anything, really. There are so many things that could keep you awake at night. I’m… I’m not angry, ok? So don’t look at me like that, please.”
Baam did not know exactly what expression he had, but it must have been an incredibly sad face. That is how he felt inside at least, until Khun explained his own reaction.
“Just learn to value yourself more, Baam, take care of yourself. If you don’t want to do it for you, then do it for me, and stop making me worry so much.”
Ups, that was something Baam did not take into account. These little experiments were supposed to make Khun happy, but this ended up worrying him instead, just like the last experiment. Maybe Baam was so used to burden Khun with all his problems and his impulsiveness that he did not stop to think this would make Khun concerned too. That was an awful thing to think. Bad Baam. But at least it was not like he did not like the present, right? The experiment might have failed on one part, but it still could be a success if Khun liked the gift itself. Maybe this would not be a total disaster like last time.
Baam was about to ask Khun’s opinion directly, when Rak bursted in between them. “I-Is that a little black turtle!?” Rak seemed so deeply moved that neither Khun nor Baam could react fast enough. It was hilarious and adorable at the same time, the love Rak’s eyes expressed for the little plushie. Then Rak asked in a more quiet voice, and directly to Baam. “L-like you, Black Turtle?”
Baam smiled fondly at Rak’s reaction. At least someone appreciated his work, even though it was not the person it was intended for. “Yes, I took the idea from you, Mr. Rak. Since you call me Black Turtle, I thought I could give myself to Mr. Khun, in the form of a black turtle plushie.”
He could hear Khun clearing his throat but he did not know what that meant. He did not have time to ask though, because Rak had jumped on top of Khun once again and took the little plushie into his claws. “A black turtle! Mine, mine!”
“Oh, no, give that back, you animal!”
Khun fought to take his gift back before Baam could even react to the scene displaying in front of his eyes. In the struggle, a tiny head went flying into the air, colliding with the ceiling and then falling to the floor without a sound.
Everyone was frozen in place, until Baam managed to move and pick up the amputated head.
“Ahh… the black turtle…” Rak was the first one to talk, and his voice sounded so upset and shaken. “His little head is gone…”
“Of course it’s gone, you dumbass! And it wouldn’t have fallen off if you weren’t such a beast!”
Rak did not even react to Khun’s usual insults. Instead, he bursted into tears, pressing against his eyes the tiny turtle body that was still in his hands. “The black turtle died!!”
Baam pressed the severed head against his chest and stared at Rak, a mix of sadness and anger reflecting in his eyes. “I’m the one who wants to cry!” Then he sobbed a little, feeling somewhat pathetic for being so sad about something so trivial. It was just… he put so much effort in making this for Mr. Khun, and Khun did not even have the chance to embrace it. “I know it was not perfect… but I put all my heart into it…”
Khun hit Rak in the head before giving Baam a tight hug. “Don’t worry, Baam, I really liked it. It would have been better if this dumbass didn’t break the turtle’s neck, but it’s alright.” Then he looked back at Rak. “See what you did? You made Baam cry!”
That made Rak burst into even more tears, as he sobbed ridiculously loud. “Sorry, Black Turtle! Sorry, mini black turtle!”
Seeing Rak so upset, Baam tried to calm down and think about the situation with a leveled head. He smiled at Rak, petted his head, and took the remaining turtle body from his claws. “Never mind, Mr. Rak, I can fix it, don’t worry. And I can make one for you too, if you want.” He could always stitch the head back again, and now that he knew how to sew one, he could make another plushie in a considerably less amount of time.
“Really!?” The infinite hope that filled Rak’s eyes made Baam laugh and nod with conviction. Then he was victim to a strong hug that almost made him suffocate. “Black Turtle, you are the best!”
Even if it hurt, Baam let Rak hug him as much as he wanted. He was so devastated when he saw the head went flying, after all. So he would repair this one and make a new one, so Khun and Rak did not have to fight over the plushie. Still, that meant Khun liked it, right? He was disappointed to lose the gift, but it seemed he was more upset about Rak making Baam sad. How could Baam tell if Khun really liked the gift now? Poor little turtle, with its neck broken in a savage fight.
Still, a few days later Baam found out that, after he mended the plushie and gave it back to its rightful owner, Khun started sleeping with it every day. So even though Khun might not say it out loud (probably out of embarrassment), he really liked it, right?
Then the third experiment was a success. A treacherous success, but one nonetheless. Maybe Baam can start thinking about making those earrings too.
*****
And thus Baam continued executing his first experiment once per week and for two whole months. In that period of time, he also crafted the earrings he thought of, and gave them to Khun. It was a pair of silver rings with a tiny blue gem in the center. They were simple, but Khun seemed to like them very much. He wore them every day, after all. Aside from that awkward night they ended up not spending together, everything was going perfectly.
However, now that Baam is about to proceed with the next thing on his list, he stumbles against a conversation he clearly was not meant to hear. Khun saying his name is not a rare thing at all, of course, but it is curious that he is doing it so secretively. So Baam moves closer to the partly open door of the studio. From that spot, he can see Leeso and Hatz chatting with Khun in low voices, but not so low that Baam’s trained hearing cannot decipher what they are saying.
“Don’t you think Baam has been acting too cute around you lately? I know he has always been cute.” Leeso adds as Khun looks like he is about to open his mouth to protest. See? They are indeed talking about him. “But he is acting especially adorable as of late, and specifically with you, with all the service and gifts.”
Khun crosses his arms in front of his chest, raising an eyebrow and looking a little troubled. “Yeah, of course I noticed. But he hasn’t said anything that could give me a clue about what he is thinking. He just smiles and giggles a lot more than usual.”
“It’s not only that. There is also that sometimes Baam looks nervous or relieved, whenever he is talking with you.”, adds Hatz in a quiet voice, and Leeso nods as if he is totally convinced about it too.
A sigh comes out of Khun’s mouth, as he tightens the grip on his own crossed arms. “That too, like he is expecting something from me, but I don’t have any idea of what it is.”
“Do you really don’t have any idea, Earrings?”
Khun frowns and looks dismissively at Hatz, maybe because of the question, maybe because of the nickname. Baam just lets out a muffled laugh at the sight. “Well, I do have an idea, but I’m not going to tell you.”
That makes Leeso pop up. “Huh!? Man, I understand why you wouldn’t want to tell Hatz,” Leeso earns an annoyed side glance from Hatz, which he does not seem to mind at all. “but me? I’m your best friend, man!” Khun stays silent, his expression remaining completely unfazed as he plays with one of his earrings between two fingers. “Jeez, Baam even made you those earrings! He didn’t buy them, he made them himself! Did you two finally hook up or something?”
Khun simply smacks Leeso’s head, getting a whimper in return. Baam, however, does not understand his reaction. He does not know what hook up means, after all. He will have to ask Khun later. “Don’t talk like that about Baam.” Then Khun resumes playing with the same earring as before. “But you are right; Baam is really making an effort to… make me happy? Is that what he is trying to do? But why though?”
In his hiding place behind the door, Baam gulps as silently as he can. So Khun is figuring it out. Well, it is pretty obvious he is doing nice things for Khun, and although Baam could be doing it because he wants some other favor from him, Khun must know that is not the case. After all, Baam hasn’t asked for anything yet, and if Baam wanted something from Khun, he just needed to ask and Khun would comply, as long as it is nothing that harms or endangers Baam himself. Khun knows this better than anyone. So Baam trying to make Khun happy is a more likely explanation for his strange behavior. At least Baam thinks it would be like that in Khun’s eyes.
“If that’s the case, I would’ve preferred something that reminded me of Baam, instead of something that suited me though.”
Now Khun is the one that earns a smack on the head, courtesy of Hatz, although Leeso is the one to speak up. “Now you are going to complain!? Baam made that especially for you, and you complain!?”
Baam feels a little discouraged after hearing that. He thought Khun had liked the earrings he made, since he wears them all the time, but now he is saying he would have preferred something different. On his part, Khun sighs while rubbing the spot in his head where he was hit.
“Shut up, that’s not it. It’s just, I already buy jewelry that goes with my appearance, and so if Baam is the one getting me something, I would’ve liked some gold earrings, for example, like little suns. That would remind me of Baam when I’m wearing them, just like the black turtle plushie he made for me.”
Oh, so that is what he is referring to. Baam quickly takes note of what he is hearing. Damn, he should have done what Khun just said. Well, next time he should make something that reminded Khun of Baam himself then. Golden little sun earrings. That’s what Khun identifies him with? Little suns? The thought makes Baam blush a little.
“But of course I’m happy with the things Baam is doing for me. How could I not be?” That alone is enough for Baam to smile widely. “I’m just confused as to why he chooses to do these things precisely now. We are preparing for war, but he is completely distracted.”
Well, Khun is right. A tiny sense of guilt lingers softly in Baam’s heart. It does not last long though. He might be betraying his master a little, but he is doing all he can already. He is not skipping training, and every day he exhausts himself completely. And there is the fact that he has to make Khun happy, he is committed to it. Even though he loves his master, Khun is his first priority.
“Maybe because you were sleeping for two years and he is feeling lonely?” suggests Leeso, with a tone that indicates he is not really convinced about what he is saying.
“That would explain why he wants to be by my side, but that’s not what he is doing.”
That’s enough, Baam decides. Outside the room, he simply closes the door as quietly as possible, letting them continue arguing about his behavior. Let them think whatever they want; Baam will soon tell Khun the reason behind his experiments. So he giggles once more, like a naughty child. Khun probably knows he is doing it because he is in love, but does not know it is also out of guilt. Khun has no way of knowing that Baam took Viole’s memories in, after all. So Baam will continue to compensate Khun in any way he can, hoping a real smile, completely devoid of frustration and worry, will appear on Khun’s face one day.
Because Khun’s happiness is Baam’s happiness too.
-END of Day 6-
